I'm BIG and I Know It

Today is the first day of my weight loss journey.  Part of me is really excited and full of determination.  Part of me is scared of failure.  Another part of me is skeptical, since this isn't my first attempt at losing weight.  But something is different this time.  I am finally so tired of being tired, in pain, embarassed of my size, not fitting in regular seats, tugging at my clothes so they cover me appropriately, feeling insecure, feeling like I can't accomplish what I want because of my large size.

I also KNOW, without any doubt, that I am worth this work.  I am worthy of the time and dedication I know it will take.  I'm worth the hour at the gym, the 40 minute drive, the hour it takes to prep fresh fruit and veggies to snack on, the time in the kitchen making healthful meals rather than hitting the drive-thru.  I'm worth the extra money healthy food costs.  I'm worth it all! 

I would do anything for my children--put in hours and hours to help them with something.  Now it's time for me to spend hours and hours on me.  If I don't make these changes, then eventually, it won't matter how many hours I spend with my children, because I won't be healthy enough to truly enjoy them.

I'm going to post my stats, a good way to know my starting point.  I'm humiliated at how big I really am.  But the best news is that through hard work and a lot of determination, I will NEVER see these numbers again.  Today is the biggest I will be, ever again!  Hooray!

Weight: 290.6 pounds
Waist: 46 inches
Hips: 47 inches
Left arm: 15 inches
Right arm: 16 inches
Left thigh: 36 inches
Right thigh: 37 inches

*it SHOCKS and disgusts me that my thigh is the size of a man's waist.  Ewwww...

My Body Mass Index is 40.5. 
My ideal BMI is 20
My ideal weight for my height is between 133 and 179 pounds (quite a span).

Whew. Ok. I did it.  I know where I'm at now. 

What I want to achieve:

I want to weigh 150 pounds.  I want to have a BMI I 20.  I want to be able to run and jump and play with my kids.  I want to have the self-control to have a small treat and not over do it.  I want to control my portions.  I want to feel healthy and happy about my future. I want to fit into an airplane seat without squishing the person next to me or needing a seatbelt extender.  I want to fit into regular clothes (not plus sized).

Most weight loss programs suggest breaking down weight loss into more bite-size pieces.  Rather than saying, I need to lose 140 pounds by next summer, I should be saying, I am going to lose 5% of my body weight by July 26.  That's 14.5 pounds.

I just broke it all down...to lose 140 pounds in 12 months, I need to lose about 11.7 pounds a month, or 3 pounds a week.  When I look at it that way, my goal doesn't feel so unreachable.  I can totally do this!